Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
