The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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