i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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