I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
