But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Randomize
