I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Randomize
