i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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