a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Need sex. Gaining weight.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
he shaved USA in his pubs
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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