Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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