yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize