i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
