I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
