Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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