If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
