Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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