Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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