Rock
Scissors
Fuck
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
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