Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Randomize
