GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
