the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
