i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
