Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
