Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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