i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
