RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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