there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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