this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
