dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
