i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
