woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
