alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I just threw up on my dentist
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
