My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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