Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Bring me that man meat
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
