whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
