my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
