I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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