Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
