I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize