the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize