It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
BRING THE BAGELS
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
