You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
