Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
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