He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
