From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
