even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Come see our sink grown plant.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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