Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
