Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
