it was like his penis was on wheels.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Randomize
