and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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