She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
