my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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