erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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