Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Randomize
