forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
