you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize