I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
