I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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