dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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