Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
