my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
