he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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