hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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