i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
