I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
