if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
i think im in europe. pls send help
A+ Viking dick
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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