so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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