It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
