It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
FUCK WHALES
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
