she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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