i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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