What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
