If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Duck Duck Cougar?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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