YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
