sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
