I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
even my farts smell like vagina
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
